For most of her life Nancy Pelosi has been more of a centrist Democrat but respectful of the left side of the party. As far as it is recorded, she has never preferred a republican president to a democratic one. In 2021 however, she listened to Louie Gohmert speak (R Ariz.) about adjusting the gravitational relationship of the planets to help with global warming. All thoughts of her seating a democratic president vanished as the speaker of the house imagined that a gravitational change would keep Donald’s back comb in place without hair spray, and that the border wall would really become a welcoming mat.
With the knowledge of Louie’s speech in hand, she decided that the Republicans must stay in office to affect their plan. Time was short so she planned to stop the election confirmation by calling all of her friends in the Proud Boys Organization, as well as the members of her political group therapy sessions to rally behind the flag and attack congress on January 6th. Trump was in no way aware of the attack as he was in the White House watching golf reruns and old Stormy Daniels movies. He could be heard laughing and cheering through the closed door by his supporters.
In order to accomplish this goal Nancy distracted the capitol police with free burgers at McDonalds (the Presidents favorite) and instructed to National Guard to prepare for a potato sack relay that afternoon. Unfortunately, the ruse did not succeed, as the police did not leave the Capitol and the National Guard, though slow in responding responded to the Capitol insurrection. Nancy’s plan backfired.
Several months after this event, Nancy proposed an investigation into the causes and responsibility for those who initiated the violence. This was a smart move on her part since it is always best to investigate one’s self for wrongdoing. The Republicans caught onto the plan and accused her for being responsible for the whole event, especially since she had no control over the Capitol police force to begin with. This was a slam-dunk manoeuver by the Republicans who also identified the attackers as political victims, since they were all Nancy’s friends.
Fortunately, the investigation is in process and ultimately Nancy will be the guilty party. In order to not politicize the issue, the Republicans deftly failed to provide members for the commission so the Democrats would be responsible for finding out that it was always the Democrats fault, except for Louie Gohmert who really was the one who started it all. Republicans have not understood that people who commit crimes do not investigate and convict themselves. It is the people who object to the issue that are guilty.
God bless you Louie. You are just an innocent bystander watching a tour of Congress.
FW 7/28/21
American Commentary 